This is a key driver for your life.
You say the words you choose with real enthusiasm, energy and with all the possible characteristics of love. It has to resonate through your mind and body; it echoes and vibrates.
Where possible say them aloud do so, and do it as if you really mean them. Otherwise whisper hard. If there are other people about, you do it silently in your head with same vigour. It is best to use one to three of them at the same time. You can use all you choose but make sure that you are putting energy into each one.
It doesn’t matter whether you think it is true or not. You are making it true.
This may be a new experience for you. It is very powerful.
It changes your life. Do it often.
Of course, you will also change the pictures you create so that the picture matches what you are saying.
I love life! I love being alive!
I love all the events of my past life. They have brought me to this great state.
I love my body. I choose to have a fantastic body (weighing _____ kilos. I love that weight.)
I love eating in a way that gives me health (and a body of ____kilos.)
I love being really healthy. I love breathing free (with healthy lungs).
I am good enough!
I love being creative. I love making things happen.
I choose to engage the challenges of life. I love this.
I choose to be confident. I love taking action with confidence.
Add whatever you need. And you go through everything in your life the same way: Family, house, car, work, environment, everything. You aim to lift the “vibration” of your self to a very high, healthy state.
The Better-Way is WOOP is a way of realistically dealing with our goals.
We often set a goal: stop smoking, do homework, start exercising or shed kilos.
It all looks good. We start. And then obstacle arise and we falter and stop.
This is a Better-Way.
In fact, extensive fantasizing achieving our goals lowers the chance of us achieving them. It is as if the brain takes the fantasized achievement as a message that you have reached the goal and decreases the motivation.
WOOP deals with the obstacles.
This was developed by Gabrielle Oettingen, Professor of Psychology at New York University.
The WOOP strategy contains four steps: Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, and Plan. It consists of two activities: Mental contrasting and implementation intentions.
It works like this.
You have a WISH. It is something that you want to do or should do.
You get a feeling for the OUTCOME that you want, in detail. It will be pictures for most people. And you talk to yourself about it. As rich as you can. There will be things that you tell yourself, and feelings you have.
The next step is to contrast and recognize the OBSTACLES. What in you and outside you is in the way of your OUTCOME?
The first step of this is reality. If your wish is a million dollars but you obstacles are that you are unemployed and don't know anything about business, it is probable that you need to find a smaller goal to start with.
But usually you will notice OBSTACLES of a familiar nature.
You don't have time. It helps with stress. It gives you a break. Everyone else has cake. Whatever yours is, name it. Often as you do it is obvious that there is a real obstacle lurking behind that. If there is, it is probably the real one.
You then set up a PLAN to overcome the obstacle. As you do make your plan, notice the trigger that led to the obstacle. Then your plan can be set up as: IF …(the trigger) .. THEN .. (Next step in the PLAN).
Routinely doing this trains your brain. Your brain is good at learning, and it spreads the learning to other areas of your life. You automatically notice OUTCOME then Obstacles, and PLAN rather than just wishing and fantasizing.
There is a WOOP app available on iPhone and Android with explanations and guides.
This Better-Way can be used for anything. Play with it.
The book below is fairly technical in parts and will probably be most useful to therapists. It is also available - cheaper, on Kindle.
Secret Multi- Personality Re-Order
Most of us think of ourselves as one personality. We don't have multi-personality DISorder. Of course.
But have you noticed that you function differently in a variety of situations? If you contrast, say, handling a difficult client at work and talking with a close friend, you are aware of different feelings. Those differences involve posture, skin tone, breathing, voice, muscular tension, pulse and blood pressure and pupil dilation. You function differently.
These are the various sub-personalities that make up our lives. They are habitual. Each one has its own distinctive structure.
We run many but not all of our core beliefs across these structures or frames.
Wouldn't it be fun to create another one. A Secret Winner, a Secret Achiever, a Secret (fill in your desire). This frame could be free of all the junk and difficulties that make up your present life. (And you suspect that it's ther, anyway. It's this "you" that you never quite get into.)
In this you a very happier, you do the things you need to do to achieve what you want. You don't go off into fantasy. You know what you are capable of and that you can rightly stretch that to a magnificent level.
Then you act it out. It is OK to act, to pretend. It is amazing what you can do if you say to yourself, "For a while I will just be an actor. I am on stage performing in front of a supportive audience. I will take myself through this wonderful scene and then step off stage, back to normal - well, no, better than I was before, because I will have done it!"
And all the things that you do, achieve and experience in this state stay with you. This is a process of personal growth.
How can we make this work?
When we want to do something and we procrastinate we have an internal mental awareness - a picture and probably words and feelings which may be a mixture of desire, intention, failure, frustration etc. It is paralysing and indecisive our muscular frame is tightened, perhaps locked.
When we do something we have an external and physical full sensory experience of performance. We may have internal pictures, words, and feelings, but they are derived from the experience of the action. We are sometimes aware of the muscular changes and sensory shifts as we perform a task.
We use a different part of the brain to do this. You cannot get from a procrastinating part of the brain to a physical activity part of the brain. There is another step in another part of the brain. It is decision - the deliberate choice to act.
It is a bit like being in an automatic car. When stuck we are in Park. No thinking will by itself make the car go. We need to shift into Drive. The shift is that vital action so many people miss out on. Perhaps a better illustration would be on the water in a boat. The motor is in neutral and we drift with the current (Many people live like this!). In order to be in control we nead to shift the engine into Drive to take us where we really want to go.
So this is where you start noticing, What do you do that means you shift gear so that you Take Action? You can notice this from your everyday life. You do take some actions easily. How do you do that? What phyical, emotional, mental changes do you experience to make the shift?
Now you know the process, you can apply itto those things that you procrastinate. Yo can shift into your Secret sub-personality and begin to live a free life.
© David Townsend 2014